breaking point

I am so stressed out at work that I could cry...in fact, I have. I've broken down at home and at the chiropractor's office. Work has been getting awful lately that I am just so eager to quit. I slept a lot all weekend and skipped out on the pride cruise that I had free passes for.

I went out for dinner with P's family on Friday night. I wasn't in the mood but it was his eldest brother's 4oth so how could we not go? Then he took me to MEC so I could look at sunglasses. To top off an already sucky week with my red eye, I had a scratch on my sunglasses...right on the part over my focal point so I need to buy a new pair now! I wasn't in the mood for shopping either but he took me anyway and I tried on a few pairs but didn't buy anything. Then we went to watch the 3D imax film Safari. That was an awesome show.

Saturday I went out to a model call for this girl's fashion line and then P. and I went over to Stanley Park for the trolley horse ride. It was a beautiful sunny day but I was still feeling extremely down so we went to dinner at the Coast Plaza Hotel and then we went home where I played with the pendulum and attempted a tarot reading on him. He still didn't believe me on any of it.

Sunday was the day my parents and I went to Buntzen lake with my cousin's godkids - these super cute and smart girls...they had a blast playing in the sand and blowing bubbles. The air was a little on the chilly side but still it wasn't too bad. I went home and took a 2 hour nap though as I was mentally exhausted with work... I was still struggling with deciding about whether I should apply for Toronto. I was feeling so terrible about my current job I didn't know if it would be worth the stress of Toronto.

to the ends of the earth

or so it seems. St. John's was a different world completely. The downtown core consisted of two main streets where the biggest recognizable chain was a KFC. The day I arrived was chillingly cold about -4 with windchill and apparently it had snowed the morning too. I wore about 5 layers of clothing and still found it cold. Unfortunately, during the whole trip, the weather was fairly nasty with strong gusts of winds blowing the rain sideways. The jetlag caught up with me while I was there but coming back, I was fine.

The receptions held each night were great. The first one was held at the GeoCentre, which lucky for me, was a block up from my hotel, which sat on Signal Hill. That daily hike was not much fun, especially while lugging a heavy knapsack. GeoCentre is mostly underground, like a science/planetary centre with an exhibit on the Titanic Story. Awesome food - all sorts of seafood delights. The second reception was at the Rooms, the provincial museum, art gallery and archives of the province. It wasn't even open yet but we were able to enjoy the beautiful facility with its gorgeous view of the St. John's harbour. More good food. My firm went out for dinner afterwards - I chose Bianca's, a fine dining restaurant downtown that had fantastic seafood. I had freshly caught halibut seared in a pecan crust. We all shared oysters and had wine and good dessert. To give you an idea though, I asked the waiter if I could have a mocha and he asked me what it was, so I told him not to worry about it. They didn't have a Starbucks anywhere downtown...perhaps in the suburbs?!

The Irish Descendents performed the last night at the final reception held at the Fairmont. I have to tell you, no one would know it was a Fairmont by the outside. It was a grey concrete 4 storey building. Pretty ugly but the interior (at least the rooms) were much better kept.

The Toronto Manager asked if I would be interested and consider moving over there to take on a different position (which she was clear to say would be a promotion). I said I would consider it. I suppose it would be better than just quitting? I don't know how much more I can take of this firm. It's probably the lowest risk move I could do, P. says. We'll see. Just too much to think about right now.

red eye

Well. I'll be off for St. John's in a couple of hours. Long flight. Work today was crazy - no break and high intense stress level all day to finish up work before going. I even snuck away and had an office to myself but my boss asked whether I was coming back to my desk after I had said I'd be gone for an hour!! About to have dinner, and then finish up packing. P's picking me up and then we head out.

time to say goodbye

When I got into the office this morning, I received an email from my boss. It was a forwarded email saying that my counterpart in Toronto was resigning, to take up a job in Bermuda!! I couldn't believe it. I saw the posting - it came out back in April. I can't believe she's going. At least I'll see her one last time this weekend when I fly out to St. John's. I can't believe it's snowing in St. John's at the moment either! :(

I always assumed that I would be the one to leave before her but now she's gone ahead and done it! And another colleague of mine is leaving her post in New Zealand to go to UK for a 2 year work/holiday visa. Everyone's moving, everyone's leaving. When is it my turn? At the moment I am contemplating transplanting myself to NZ. Anything is better than staying stagnant. I have time when I return from the east coast to send in my application.

vegas baby

As of today I have practically half the stamps I need for my passport. I got 8 on Thursday alone and could have gotten more if I hadn't saved the hotels for their food options. As it stands, I had a whirlwind trip out to Vegas where we stayed at the Monte Carlo. It was a disappointing hotel - I knew it going in but it got confirmed. Our room wasn't set up properly (no glassware and missing toiletries) and the entrance light was out the whole time. After we made these comments to the front desk, the girl didn't even offer any compensation until I asked for late checkout.

I probably walked about 10 km the first day alone but the weather was breezy and cool with some sun so it was fairly pleasant. Trip overall was nice - I didn't think about work the whole time, which was nice. Cirque du Soleil's "Ka" was good, but still my favourite goes to "O."

Back to work today and am packing for Newfoundland. My parents left this morning for Pittsburgh to attend my sister's graduation. Work was super busy of course trying to catch up everything. I can't wait to get out.