bittersweet 5

I got the job offer today, the 5th anniversary that I've been at this job. I've been waffling over taking it or not, and speaking with so many people and consulting readers over it. It seems like this is the best route to go. I'm so sad every time I think about it - moving away from family, the loneliness that will follow, and generally, leaving things and people behind. My mother said the only person I will leave is my grandfather; his health isn't so good and he's started to give up on life...I could see it in him the other day, and it was so sad.

I also get upset thinking that it is a result of my current job that I've had to make this move. I know it will be good for me but the reality hasn't sunk in. P. can't really believe I'm going either. And they are such sticklers. We spent a few hours going over the contract - they are so restrictive that it's almost a take-it-or-leave-it attitude. There's almost no way one can negotiate. I hate that but right now, it's something I gotta do since this option is still better than sitting around waiting for something to happen on the homefront. I just think of all those I'll be leaving behind, and I get sad all over again.

frenzied week

It's been a long week so far and I've barely had time to breathe. On Monday night, I did my modelling gig with L'Oreal. They wanted me at 6 but of course nothing happened until 7. They didn't even work on me until 7:30 or so. The hair got a nice trim and the stylist worked out my hair's maximum curl. She couldn't believe how much curl there was. I couldn't either when I saw the end result! A ton of hairspray and styling products later, I was out the door by 9:30 and P. came to pick me up and drove me home. It was a nice sunny day.
Tuesday night, I rushed home for dinner and then headed out to a sessionon psychic abilities with my mother. Perhaps it was the first day of summer...perhaps because it was pouring rain out...there was only one other attendee so it was a very small group led by the reader B, who I just saw on the weekend. The two hours were ok but I really think I need to sign up for a proper course over several weeks so that I can actually practice and get proper training.

Last night, I went to dinner with T. I hadn't seen him in a long while but he wasn't off work until 6:30 so I spent some time wandering downtown and the shops before I made it to his office. We ended up going to a really good restaurant called Accents on Broadway. The food was good and relatively cheap (he had elk and I had atlantic scallops) but I was having a hard time between my seafood or the veal. I think I'll have to go back as it was so yummy and I got three meals out of it- I was stuffed! The only downside was that it was so sunny out by the time we left that I wish we had gone to a patio. I was hoping to go to the Pacific Crab Co. overlooking English Bay but his suggestion sounded great too so we went with his. He dropped me off at the Broadway Chapters and P. came to come get me to take me home. He hadn't eaten a proper meal yet so we went to McD's so he could try their salad (which he liked - crispy chicken oriental) and the Oreo Caramel flurry of which I insisted we get the small size. P. and I have been getting into discussions over his non-belief of tarot etc. but I stayed away from the topic and we got along great. I'm not planning on bringing it up again as it just makes everything less pleasant. We discussed the latest job posting - almost perfect for what I'm looking for - but timing-wise it sucks as the posting closes long after I've gone to Toronto and long after I will have had to make a decision, IF I get the offer at all. He got me home in time for D. to call to plan out his trip here in July. We ended up talking an hour and I didn't get to sleep til nearly midnight. On a positive note, my eye has finally cleared up after 9 days of being contact-lens-less.

Today, a beautiful sunny day and I've got the only day free to do somepacking and prepping. Tomorrow night I will have dinner with P. before going home to have an early sleep. I fly out on Saturday morning at 7.

summer solstice

On the edge of summer solstice and finally the weather has turned around. Today it was piping warm and at least 25 I'd say. I went for a walk and was dying of heat by the time I got home. Full moon tonight too if you can believe it.

I went for a reading yesterday and got some confirmation as to what I already somewhat knew. P. doesn't seem to be the one for me. Unless he changes his ways. I'm not priority and he knows it, and I know it but we are understanding soulmates as she put it. Anyway, it just sucked. My dad tore my camera box and then I found out he had used my camera one day when I was downloading the photos. I was not happy. So what if it's father's day?? He didn't ask and he's never careful with stuff, especially my brand new baby! I've removed the card so that this doesn't happen again. I won't say a word. Next time, the battery will come out as well. I'm so ticked that he didn't even ask.

I was supposed to pack for Toronto but haven't even done that yet...I suppose I have a few days still so it should be ok, especially since I'm only going for a couple of days - one good suit and then casual clothes for the other two days.

My eye is still bothering me - psychologically. I can see it's still a bit pink so I'm still weary about putting in any contacts...and now with my flight coming up next weekend, I figure I should maybe give it a break for 2 weeks and wait til I get back from the trip.

whirlwind

Well things are appearing to now move at breakneck speed. The boss in Toronto got back to me and told me that HR would only pay the lowest of my requested range and then she okayed a trip out there - first for one night, and then for 2. Then she asked how the booking was going. Obviously she wanted me out there really quick. In the meantime, I've fallen ill or fluish due to the tempermental weather. My eye has been flip flopping as well so I've done without my contacts for another 4 days...I'm going to try to keep them out of my eyes for 2 weeks. It will suck as I've booked a flight out to Toronto for next weekend and the airplane air will probably aggravate the situation but I really can't keep having my contacts in for one day and then having my turn all red on me.

We had the firm soiree last weekend and I went with P to a partner's nice heritage home. He had hired an artist (his wife being one herself) and some of us were lucky enough to get our portraits done. We all looked not quite like ourselves (something being off - in my picture, my nose was more flattering) but I liked it anyway. P. won a Shrek donkey PEZ. Someone else won the motherload - a huge Homer Simpson pez that dispenses a whole row of Pez instead of one at a time. Hilarious. Food was good but the weather was not.

P. and I have had some ups and down lately; I haven't been too pleased with his behaviour and have let him know, which has made dinner sometimes unpleasant. We're working things out...I think I've been taking on some of his negative energy so I've decided to stay away from him. When we talk on the phone, it's ok. It's when he meets me that I always get ticked because he's always late.

I also went to a photographer's studio last Friday; he was looking for models and he seemed completely professional but I haven't gotten back to him yet as I've been feeling ill. And then L'Oreal called me in for tomorrow so I'll be doing the prep work after work tomorrow and an open house on Monday night. Busy times. I have been so exhausted that I've been trying to rest up as much as I can. Good thing P. was away last weekend (in Victoria) and this weekend (up north). This weekend will require some serious prep work for my interview.

a bit of calm

Without the boss around, the atmosphere at work has been noticably quieter, calmer, and more peaceful. I have had a little bit of time to start throwing out things; I really want to get rid of things so I can quit/leave etc. It's just nice not having someone looking over your shoulder all the time. Now if only my eye would settle down - it's gone a bit red again and I'm not sure why. :(